By: Carolyn Coleman
“We don’t own children or have the right to live their lives for them. Our task is to prepare them for life.”
I’m finding it hard to decide when to be a parent and when to let go of the parenting thing. While I know there have been years of studies on how to let go and allow your child to grow, those studies are no good to me because I am such a protector when it comes to my son.
I feel we need to let ourselves “off the hook” and give ourselves credit for being good parents. Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs in the world, and we have to realize that our kids are going to make mistakes. I can only prepare my son for dealing with life’s mistakes; I cannot prevent those mistakes from happening. There are so many obstacles that he will need to cross, and as much as I would like to hold his hand as he approaches each obstacle, I know that I cannot.
As my child gets older, I’m finding that I am needed more as a listener instead of always forcing my opinion or thoughts on him. I try to understand that parenting is about connection rather than perfection. It’s important that I share a connection with my child that allows him to feel comfortable talking with me about life’s ups and downs, the good and the bad. I hope he is pleased to know that I am always there for him.
I continually fight the urge to step in and take control; instead I talk to my child and allow him to make his own decisions. I am learning that allowing my child to make his own decisions gives him more ownership over his life.
As I loosen this mother son bond, I know that my son will make some good choices and some bad choices. But as his mother, I will be there to encourage him – no matter what the situation. As hard as it is, we have to know that if we plant good seeds and build a solid foundation, we can let go and watch our kids grow.
How are you letting go?