By: Janice Johnson-Plumer
With 2015 behind me I actually have a chance to reflect on what happened to me this past year. I remembered summer had just started and I am preparing for a relaxing vacation with my husband. Well, before the vacation even had a chance to start, it ended. My husband delivers some disturbing news and I was literally frozen in place. It was like his lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Something terrible had taken place at his work and now he is out of work while there is an investigation. How can this be? I am tried to gather the details and remain calm. I remember getting up and saying I needed to go to the post office to get stamps. Yes, stamps. Stamps at a time like this.
I drove to the post office which is literally a five minute drive, but took forever. I pulled into the parking lot and broke down to tears. I couldn’t believe what had happened and what could possibly happen. I would’ve called my mother, but she has already passed away, so the next best thing was a cousin who worked nearby. I went to her job with blood shot eyes and began to tell her what just happened. She remained calm and said nothing, just letting me vent. I then proceeded to go home and acted like I wasn’t in hysterics for the past hour.
What transpired over the next 6 months was something out of a Lifetime Movie, except my husband and I were the main characters and it wasn’t scripted. This was a real, hard core situation that I thought was never going to end. I find when you are in a personal situation it’s almost as if you are numb from the outside world. People can spit at you, talk about you to your face, throw things at you, and you are literally helpless. I was living a real life nightmare. How could this be happening to me? My husband? My family? How could this situation happen to a good, hardworking man who was a provider and head of my home? We were not exempt from going through trying times. We may have thought so, but we were sadly mistaken. Everyone questioned my husband’s integrity, character, motives, etc. You name it, they asked it. I couldn’t believe how people I thought I could trust would turn their backs on me.
This was my curve ball. This was something that was out of the ordinary and it could have really affected me to the core if I was not armed with the right tools and a strong support network. How did I get through it? Here are some of the tools that helped me.
- My Faith kept me on the right road. It was a road of many things. Forgiveness of people, strength in adversity and perseverance. I learned to let go, and let God take over.
- Not talking to everyone about it, especially family. I have found that family can sometimes be the hardest to talk to sometimes because they are the closest to you. They start questioning if it was something they did, or said, that prompted the situation.
- Keeping busy. If it weren’t for the gym it would not have been a good situation for me. Did I get any skinnier? No, but I released a lot of stress. Plus I am also a spin instructor so all the stresses of the day went into my class.
- I looked within myself and made it a point not to let this break or destroy my son, family, household, etc.
- I had one family member (some family are okay) that called me here and there to check in on me. I could be myself and I knew I could talk to her openly and she would not judge me.
When life throws you a curve ball do you stand there with your glove ready to catch it or do you run in the opposite direction?
By the way, I had two gloves and I was ready to catch that curve ball with finesse!
Community Voices for Health 