Mom Jobs

By: Kathy Trainor

Mom jobs are when you have jobs that only a mother can think of doing. You know those things they only do. The gross, down and dirty jobs. We both get over worked, no pay and then on top of that no sleep. But sometimes there are things that just moms do. I know many amazing dads out there but moms take the cake with the gross jobs. Below is a list of ONLY MOM things mom do as a job. Have you ever done them? Did you spy dad doing them?u5536_602x312.jpg

1. Mom jobs are when you use your hand to wipe boogers. The run it on your clothing or car seat. Snot bubbles are no match for moms.

2. Mom jobs are when you stick your nose in random places. Is that puke? Did you just poop? There’s only one way to tell. Noses up!

3. Mom jobs are when you get elbow deep in the toilet—clean and dirty. From Thomas the Train to a toothbrush, we don’t need plumbers, well, at least not everyday.

4. Mom jobs are when you smell body parts. Butts, pits, hair on a kid or self. Yep, that’s poop! Nope, I didn’t shower today.

5. Mom jobs are when you wear stained clothes. Yes, I know I have spit-up on my pants. I can smell it, too. Yes, that is Ode De Puke your are smelling; don’t worry, I got a few hours of sleep last night to make this look happen.

6. Mom jobs are when you are booger pickers. I mean come on, who else is going to fish that stuff out. Kids can’t see it. Moms normally do have a limit and will not pick other children boogers. Unless you are working as a child care teacher, then it is free game. Those moms are the best booger pickers in town.

7. Mom jobs are when you use hand as a vomit bucket. Why we think this is going to work and we try each time to catch it no one will ever know. It is mom’s involuntary action she does at the sound of a gag.

8. Mom jobs are when you give 2 sh*ts. They check texture, volume and even color. They can spy poop from a block away and know kids in a corner are brewing something special just for them.

9. Mom jobs are when you spit—spit shine on dirt and grime. Because as bad as we look,  we have to have a clean kid as we walk into grandma’s house.

Last, but not least:

10. Flying arms. Back seat of a car to break up a fight. Front seat of a car as you hit the breaks. Falling off stools and swing. Moms are quick!

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