By: Melanie Anderson
Dear Daughter,
Sometimes my words are not sympathetic and you think I have never walked in your shoes. Time and life experiences have given me something that I wish I had when I was 15, knowledge and power. I know we must make our own mistakes in order to get where we are going on our personal journey, but I want you to see that I have been there and what I have learned. What I am writing is all the things I have learned and wish I had known at 15.
You are going to make mistakes, just don’t make a mistake that is to0 big to come back from. Live and learn but always keep your morals as your best friend.
Treasure and be true to who you are. Don’t be afraid to let people know who your true self is as a person. You add wisdom and value to this world everyday.
You are good enough. Tell yourself this everyday, because you are and the more you tell yourself this everyday the more that the background noise doesn’t matter. No matter how popular the most popular girl is, don’t be fooled, she too has the same insecurities as every girl your age.
Be kind. Be kind to everyone because you never know when your kindness could change a persons life. What might be a small thing to you could change the course of someone else’s life.
Don’t let someone else’s unkindness affect you in a negative way. Stay positive. Those people who choose to be negative or mean will have no affect on you or your life. You build yourself into who you will become, not them.
Be educated. Work hard for the next 8+ years in school and you will not have to work so hard for the rest of your life. Choose to not work hard for the next 8+ years in school and you will be working hard for the rest of your life.
Learn to be responsible with your hard earned money now. Don’t wait until you are 18 to start. Being in the real world and having to figure it out on your own is a harsh reality. Once your behind the 8 ball it’s hard to come back.
Don’t like a boy just because a boy likes you. You are beautiful and smart and you should demand a boys respect because you deserve that. It will pay off in the end.
Don’t grow up before your time. Be fun, charismatic, and don’t grow up to fast. There is plenty of time to adult; and once you become an adult, you can never get those kid years back, no matter how much you want to! Go see a rated “G” movie, go ice skating, or go for a bike ride because it’s fun!
Be a leader not a follower. It is not easy to be a leader and sometimes it’s not fun, but it shows just how strong you are. This quality will take you so far in life; and each time you show your leadership, you build respect for yourself and gain a piece of trust from your parents.
Understand that your parents are not your friends, they are your parents and for good reason. They do not give rules and consequences because they are out to get you, but rather they have walked in your shoes and are guiding you to be a caring, successful, respectful adult. One day, you will appreciate that they worked so hard on this. I appreciate my mom so much for doing this for me.
Last but not least, love and lean on your family. They are your backbone; and as much as you think they don’t understand, they do! One day, a long time from now, you will understand this more than you ever wanted to!
We are not worlds apart, as it may seem. As I write this letter, I realize that I still have insecurities and tough decisions to make. I have friend problems sometimes and have to be a leader, which is not always easy. Some days I still have to tell myself I am good enough and sometimes I have to remind myself to have fun and be silly. It’s just how I have learned to handle it that has changed from when I was 15. I hope that what you take from this is that I have been there and do understand your challenges.
Love,
Mom
Community Voices for Health 