Community Voices for Health

By: Lauren Tankle

 

I recently got married this year. Our wedding was a little less traditional than most because I have a son from a previous marriage.  I really wanted to incorporate him into most aspects of the wedding because this marriage was not just marrying my Fiancé and I but, all of us as a family. I was gaining a husband that day and my son was gaining a step dad.

My son was not excited about the wedding at first and I think it’s because he didn’t fully understand the concept. He ended up becoming very excited the night of the rehearsal and surprisingly emotional on the wedding day when my husband read his vows to him and presented him with a watch during the ceremony.

I wasn’t expecting a seven-year-old to understand the emotions that other people would have that day let alone feel those emotions himself. I could tell he felt really special being a part of everything and I think it was a great first step to unifying us all as a family.

 

Here are five ways to incorporate your children into your big day:

 1. First look

I had a first look with my son. It was nice to have a private moment of just me and him before the chaos that followed the rest of the day.

 

2. Their own vows with a special gift they can keep forever

This ended up being a really memorable experience not just for us but, for the audience as well. Its such a great idea to create vows as a family in addition to individual vows because you are all in this together and you will all have to work at the relationship

s within the family together.  You are a team.

 3. Speech

I gave my son the option of giving a speech after the best man and maid of honor. He was too nervous to do that with all the people watching him so he opted out. I have seen a child give a speech at their parents wedding and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Who else would be better to give you a blessing than your little one?

 

 

 4. A first dance

After the parent dances, my son and I got our own dance. We have been through so much together and I wanted him to know how important and how meaningful our journey together has been. We had a great time and he loved the attention. The crowd seemed to love it too. We had fun practicing dancing in the kitchen and picking out a song together.

 

 5. Kids table

I really liked having a kids table and the kids LOVED having a kids table. They had their own little spot to claim. It made them seem like they really had a place in this wedding and it was nice for the parents to be able to hang out and know that if they don’t see their kid on the dance floor they are either in the bathroom or at the kids table.