Top 5 Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids …

By: Abby Keane

5.  HUG your brother, don’t bodyslam him!  (Said nightly at bedtime)

4.  Don’t lick the stove!

3.  The cat’s tail is NOT a microphone!

2.  You are not having any more strawberries until you finish your pizza!  (Seriously, the kid is a side dish fiend!  Main dish, eh.)


1.  Don’t squeegee your brother!  (Don’t worry, the squeegee has been removed from the tub.)

What are the craziest things you’ve found yourself saying to your kids?

2 thoughts on “Top 5 Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids …

  1. To my five year old son today:
    If you lose most of your liver, you can still grow a whole new one, so stop worrying.
    There isn’t anything beneath the core of the Earth.
    Let’s not talk about intestines while we’re eating supper.

    To my two year old daughter today:
    No, you can’t fly like a bird off of the bookcase.
    Yes, you have to wear pants if you want to go to the grocery store.
    Stop licking the weight scale.

  2. No, you cannot go to sleep now (to my six year old who I always have to fight to get to bed, only b/c I knew he asked to go to bed b/c he wanted to go to his room to listen to an audiobook that he was overly addicted to and I wanted him to take abreak from it and to do soemthing active.)

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