Community Voices for Health

By: Janice Johnson-Plumer

As I watch my son reach for the basketball I stop and think to myself: Am I reaching enough in areas of my own life? I watch Quincy and he is really giving it all he’s got to give the ball to his teammate. At times, I sit and wonder what I am reaching for. Is it for a chance to snag a promotion at my job? Is it to make sure I am doing all I can as a mother? Am I reaching for selfish gains?

I always have goals at the beginning of the year, but I never meet them. They go by the wayside. I always say I am going to accomplish this and that, and it never comes to fruition. Is it because I am not reaching far enough?

I look at Quincy reaching for the basketball and he’s determined to give it to his teammate. He steps up to the line and I can see his determination in his face. I think it starts with a conviction and then a feeling of accomplishment and then the passion behind it. Why reach for a goal if there’s no passion behind it?

As I get older I feel that my passions are not what they used to be. Instead, I have become more passionate about carving out some alone time, or “me time” that women so desperately need. I truly believe that if you do not carve out time for yourself, you will be no good to anyone around you. Lately I have been feeling very resentful because I felt like I take on a larger share of household duties, going out of my way for people, and being everything to everyone. And yet, when it’s all said and done, I am the one left feeling burnt out, tired, and like a big old crab because I did not get my “me time.”

Again, I feel it’s because us mothers do not reach far enough to realize that we are individuals and we are the ones that set the tone in the house. I have noticed that when I am not happy, it affects my entire house – all the way to the dog.

I have cried and yelled out for me time. It all boils down to me not reaching out to others for help. As mothers, we tend to take it all on. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have an “S” on my chest and the last time I checked I wasn’t Linda Carter from Wonder Woman, so why do I feel the need to take on everything? I know it’s because I don’t reach within myself to say, “stop” and “let me get off this rollercoaster of life.” Mothers, we need to pause for a moment and relish the stillness and voice within. We must be good to ourselves so we can be better to others.

I am making every effort to “reach” my full potential. I will be 50 in a couple of years and I definitely am looking forward to being able to live the next chapter of my life. I definitely plan on reaching my full potential and not run on empty anymore.

What are you reaching for?