Community Voices for Health

By: Lauren Carmichael

So, my husband and I want another baby. I feel confident I have all the major necessities needed to expand a family such as I have a roof over my head, a stable job, three meals a day, and a loving family.

So why is it I lay awake at night questioning if now is the best time? Will I ever reach a point of total contentment with where I am and nothing left to accomplish? Probably not.

I find myself wanting to meet certain goals before I take on a new life in the home. I want to get that certification at work; I want to own a home and no longer rent before I have a baby; or I want to have “x amount” of savings before I consider bringing in a new life and adding more costs to the monthly bills.

Here is what I have to say to myself:

1.    I can still work on goals after I have a baby.

The progress may not be as aggressive as before I had a newborn baby, but small steps every day towards goals will get me there. I finished my degree, landed a full time job designing retail stores, and planned a wedding all while having my first child in my life, so I feel like I can take anything else on with another. I will have maternity leave from work for six weeks, and I can try and use that time as efficiently as possible to accomplish things that I have a hard time accomplishing during the typical work week. I can learn new cooking recipes, check off tasks that have been on my to do list for the past six months, and most importantly spend time with my new baby.

2.   Owning a home isn’t an end all be all.

As long as I have the means to relocate if something earth shattering happens, it’s really all good for now. We have shelter, heat, hot water, and a yard with a pool that we don’t have to take care of. We are so spoiled! The home buying process can take a really long time. I’m sure once I was in a home, I would start making a list of home projects I would like to accomplish before adding another life to care for onto my plate as well. Owning a home is our goal, but waiting for the entire process to manifest into a place where I feel ready might take years.

3.   Wanting to save up a certain amount of money is a good thing; however, it can take time.

I remind myself that if I get pregnant, I still have 9 months to save weekly. I have almost a year of planning for the day this baby arrives. Much like a wedding, the day comes and somehow you manage to have everything necessary; and if you don’t, you make it work. I have been working a little bit every night to research cheaper alternatives to diapers and food, what products I will need and how much they will cost, or what items are really not necessary to spend the money on. Maybe that means we don’t go out to eat for a few weeks so we can buy the stroller set we want or our tax refund doesn’t go to an extravagant vacation but, to a day trip along with the purchase of a pack and play, diaper genie and packs of refills for a few months. It will be a life adjustment but, if I had a baby as a college waitress, I feel confident I will be able to make it work now too. Sometimes I just need a reminder.

There will probably never be a “perfect” time. In my life, something always seems to come up and there is always something new to do or a new way to improve. My husband and I have multiple jobs and hobbies that probably won’t ever completely go away. Even if I reached all my goals and had nothing left on my to do list, knowing me, I would probably create something new to do and find some way to add things to my to do list. Life will adjust. Because I’m ready to embrace the added chaos that comes with a baby and recognize life will probably always be hectic, I think I am more than ready to take on a new baby. I think that is really all it takes to “be ready.”