Community Voices for Health

Post written by: Marsha Weiner, LICSW, Manager of Behavioral Health Services, Signature Healthcare

Self-esteem or self-worth are such broad concepts and can be overused.  What do they really mean? The definition according to Meriam Webster Dictionary: A confidence and satisfaction in oneself: SELF-RESPECT.

For those with positive self-esteem, having confidence in themselves and their decisions is not so difficult.  They trust their choices and feel good about them.   Healthy self-esteem allows one to have an accurate and balanced self-view. 

Of course, there are extremes. People with overly high self-esteem are often arrogant, and self-indulgent, and express feelings of entitlement. They tend to overlook their own flaws and criticize others. Today the focus is on low self-esteem and the effects it has on one’s daily life

Today the focus is on low self-esteem and its effects on one’s daily life.

Those with low self-esteem can feel inferior to others, have low self-worth, and feel that they don’t matter.  They will second-guess decisions and be quick to criticize themselves.

If one is complimented, it is difficult to accept and will say thank you, BUT……There seems to always be a reason to negate the positive. 

According to Psychology Today “Possessing little self-regard can lead people to become depressed, to fall short of their potential, or to tolerate abusive relationships and situations.

People who experience a steady diet of disapproval from important others—family, supervisors, friends, and teachers—might have feelings of low self-esteem. Yet the healthy individual is able to weather off-putting evaluations.”

To narrow it down, it can be said there are five Components of Self Esteem.

          Positive Self Esteem                                        Negative Self Esteem

Security: I know I am safe;	Security: I feel unsafe and insecure
Identity: I know who I am;	Identity: I question who I am
Belonging: I know others accept me;	Belonging: People don’t like me
Purpose: I know what I want to achieve;	Purpose: I have difficulty setting goals
Competence: I know I am capable.	Competence: I question my abilities

The causes can frequently be the consequences

The consequences of low self-esteem can affect one’s daily life in a variety of ways.

1. Increase in anxiety and depression.
2. Difficulty with relationships
3. Can impair academic and job performance

How does one increase their self-esteem and self-worth?

• Be kind to yourself
  • STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF, recognize when you are doing so, and tell yourself to stop and focus on the positive.
  • Challenge your negative thinking.
• Try to recognize and accept the positives
  • Make a list of your positive qualities
• Build a support network (people that encourage, not discourage)
• Talk to a therapist
• Self-care
  • Do things that you enjoy
  • Get good sleep
  • Eat healthy foods
• Exercise
• Keep a journal of both your negative thoughts and your positive thoughts.
  • There is healing in writing.

Implement these Techniques

• Think about something positive about yourself – not something that someone else has told you, but something you believe about yourself.          
  • Physical trait
  • Something you are good at doing
  • Something you enjoy
  • Anything at all

Write this message on a sticky note or whatever is used for reminders.

Writing positive thoughts and words on a sticky note and sticking them on our mirror, computer, phone, or anywhere that is easily accessible, will make a positive impact on your day and mood.

• Whenever there is a negative thought, pull out that message and read it. 
• Use this as a reminder of what positive attribute you saw in yourself.



Helpful Links:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374

https://mhanational.org/blog/ideas-building-healthy-self-image-and-improving-self-esteem

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/